ParkerRoe-portfolio intro draft

Looking back on the past nine months, beginning in September of 2010, I realize that I have come a long way, and have learned a great deal about myself and my strengths and weaknesses as a writer. Over the course of my entire life I have attended private schools with accelerated programs in just about every department—writing has been no exception. I first realized my strengths as a writer when I was in the eighth grade after I won an award for a reflection I wrote about a camping trip in Yosemite National Park. Ever since then I have taken pride in my work, especially that of which has lied on the more creative spectrum. Narrative writing has always come naturally to me and I have the most fun developing my prose within a story-telling environment. Analytical writing took a bit longer for me to grasp a firm hold of; however, by the time I was a junior in high school it had found a secure home in my neighborhood of academic talents. Now, the final, missing part of the equation… research writing—a discipline in which I have had some very successful conquests, but never fully mastered or fell in love with. Unlike my experience with narrative and analytical styles of writing, personally, within research writing, although it does provide an outlet for investigation and new experiences, I have never achieved a full, one hundred percent comfort level—some pieces are tremendous, and I am very proud of them, but having said that, there is an equal amount of research work that I have completed and turned in that I simply don’t maintain the same level of enthusiasm for. I believe eventually this will change, and like everything else, it’s just a matter of time before it clicks. Part of this trait of me as a writer is most definitely attributed to my creative outlook on just about everything, and my simultaneous habit of just thinking about random things when I may or may not supposed to be doing so (which when writing a narrative can be very helpful). So, without any further delay, in fear of boring you to death with the story of my meager existence as a writer, allow me to introduce three pieces which I believe not only manifest my writing abilities, but also my multifaceted life in which I maintain a vast array of interests. The first paper I completed this spring, a text-based research paper entitled The Ecstasy of Gold, focuses on the early days of Denver, Colorado and the ways by which the gold rush of the late Nineteenth Century served as a catalyst of urban transformation and development. The second piece I would like to introduce is my third project from this spring quarter, a group project in which I worked with three of my fellow classmates to compose a guide to nightlife for University of Denver students.

portfolio draft Baca

During my time in the Writ 1133 class I have learned how to revise. Out of every other skill that this class has offered, by the first paper that I wrote I could see that leaving my paper as the original is not the best way to write. I acknowledged that the first paper was a stepping-stone in my writing life. I realized that the revising process is an important stage in the writing process. Also, in my first paper, addressed the issue of Educational Issues in Denver. I didn’t use sources very much to write a research-based project.
During my second paper, I wrote the first draft early enough to submit for the class to revise as an activity in class. This helped me because I thought that if I awanted to learn about revision than who better to learn it from than the people around me in the same class. It always sounds better to hear the tough words about ones work from a peer than an authority figure.
The third project looked at what DU students do off of campus. I immediately thought of skiing. DU students flock to the mountains on the weekend to get away from the business of school. The main point of this essay was to show the outsiders looking in on DU students, even prospective students that there are so many things to do off campus even some that are just a short train ride into the city of Denver.
The first essay took up the topic of Education Issues of Denver, as presented in the first paragraph. I, thinking that I knew what education needed looked at a few sources then tried to write my essay based on two people opinions. Not looking at the broader scheme of the paper. I didn’t take into account the impact on the world if the USA doesn’t take education seriously. Through the revision process I added these ideas, as well as idea from more people to take into account the reality that educational issues have on people of America and not just what I think the classroom needs to do to improve the quality of education. Also, I didn’t read it over. I took it as I thought it was without reading back over it. I didn’t realize that the paper was the beginning of the process. The ideas were on the page but the scheme, the structure wasn’t. In order to make a paper better it needs to be revised. There is no way that just slamming down the keys the first time can get an A on a paper. Through the course I realized that. This in my eyes didn’t seem wrong at the time I wrote it however reading that paper again at this point in my writing maturation stage I can see why sources are important in writing anything. It credits the writer ethos. Sources also make it easier to write. What I mean by easier is that it is not just writing generally what happens with the topic at hand. It gives real world academic research done by Doctors and Professors who know what they are talking about.
In this essay, I will be discussing the topic of, College students. I want to know why these people come to college; namely the men in my fraternity. I asked these men because I feel like they of any other group of people here at DU they have the biggest sense of why they are here. The purpose is purely educational; I just want to learn more about why people do the things that they do. College is one of those things that most people think about but fewer actually do. I want to show more reasons for going to college other than getting a good job and my parents made me. I hope to find out the real reasons that students come to college. I narrowed it down to my fraternity because interviewing a whole 10,000 people would be too difficult to do. I believe the readers of my paper are people who want to learn more about their peers and or professors who think that fraternity men are just here to party. Not one person said that they are here to get drunk everyday. Independence, education, and making a career are what they want to get out of college. I was wondering one day about who everyone was when he was in high school i.e. the jock, the stoner, the badass etc. Then I started thinking about why they decided to come to DU. Then I started thinking, it would be easy to write a paper on this topic. Then I could interview the people in my fraternity, the people who I spend the most time with. I could learn about my brothers and do homework at the same time.
For this project I intend to show outsiders of DU, or even parents what DU students enjoy when they are not hitting the books. Most people think that college is just one big party but there are many more things to do in the beautiful landscape of the Rocky Mountains than just party and sleep all day recovering from the previous night. The weekends of winter quarter are a busy sensation for the mountains that border Denver to the west. Skiing is a huge activity that many people here at DU pride themselves on. They love getting out of the busy atmosphere of school to just forget about everything and just flow down the mountain with the wind in their faces.
In order to find out a little bit more about the lifestyle that is skiing here in Colorado I interviewed my neighbor and friend Bryant Wilkinson. When asked to write about what DU students do off campus skiing immediately came to mind, as did Bryant. I picked him to interview because out of the many people that go to the mountains extremely often I would say that he by far was up there the most. Each weekend he would leave early Friday morning and not come back until Sunday evening. I narrowed my search in the skiing world by choosing him to interview. I wrote up some questions that outlined what skiers do on the weekends that they are off on the slopes that Wilkinson answered beautifully. At first I was trying to write this as a research topic with a question to answer then I realized that the assignment was to show what DU students do off of campus there is really no question to answer. I changed my writing style after that. The comments helped out because I got to see what students here are actually interested in. By their questions I could see what I was lacking in.
During the Spring quarter taking Writ 1133 I realized the scope of writing, completing my package of writing. I have good words, but typing them out.

Introduction Draft-Scott Haraway

Over the course of this quarter and last in the WRIT sequence, I have developed a breadth of writing skills for a number of different situations and corresponding audiences. I can demonstrate this through four pieces of writing that I created: a text-based research paper, an ethnography, a Google Map, and a newspaper feature article. In these different pieces I appeal to ethos, logos, and pathos, in very different ways to appeal to both the reader and the academic community. Through the documents discussed below, I will show my growth in in-depth research and revision that has made me the better, more versatile writer that I am today.

The first paper I wrote was a text-based research paper. The assignment was to create an argument that had to do with an issue in the city of Denver or its surrounding area in some way, as all of our assignments for WRIT 1133 had to be, and to ground the argument in at least five previously written, peer-reviewed academic publications. Not a week before the paper was assigned, I read an article about how a man named Stan Kroenke had become the primary shareholder (owner) of Arsenal Football Club in England. This struck me as amazing, because I knew that Kroenke already owned the Colorado Avalanche, the Denver Nuggets, the Colorado Rapids, the Colorado Mammoth, the St. Louis Rams, and the Pepsi Center where three of these teams call home and numerous concerts take place year round. Clearly this is an amazing empire in the sporting world, not to mention his wife is a Walmart child, and the so-called Denver sports monopoly interested me being a huge sports fan.

The purpose of this paper was to show how this sort of sports monopoly was a bad thing for Colorado sports. It was very difficult to find sources that had academic credibility, because it is an increasingly current topic and also a small scope of people geographically who would care about this man…

The next paper I wrote was an ethnography/study about why people go to coffee shops. The assignment was to write a qualitative study about why or how people do what they do, again in some way related to Denver. The main point of the project was to create our own research and that the research was qualitative as opposed to quantitative, number-based research. I chose to research what people do at coffee shops, because it is a place that my brother and I had always spent a lot of time and always observed people at. It always struck us as interested that most people, including us, visited a coffee with the cup of coffee they were purchasing as their last priority.

The purpose of the paper was to demonstrate exactly this point. So, I conducted my research through a series of four structured observations in which I used a checklist to systematically observe the patrons of two different coffee shops over an hour period of time. The checklist included almost every trait of physical appearance that you could think of as well as questions on what they purchased and what they did while they were there. In addition, I conducted eight short interviews with a sample of interviewees that I thought represented the coffee shop population very well. With the combination of these research interests I formulated conclusions based on the trends I began to see…

The third product produced in WRIT 1133 was a Google Map, which was a very unorthodox yet extremely fun research project. The assignment was to work with a group, in my case of four, to create an original Google Map that was almost a guide around some part of Denver, for example the DU campus itself or the Denver slam poetry scene. On this map we were supposed to place two to three “markers” each, which were places that we had gone to do firsthand observatory research on and later written a blurb about describing our experience and overall impressions of the place. We were encouraged to include videos, pictures, audio, etc. to enhance our map.

My group chose to do a map based on what DU students do off campus. The reason for this is because it had great personal resonation in that the four of us are always trying to find something fun to do in Denver and explore the city when our campus starts getting a little stale. We also wanted to create something that was very comprehensive and varied throughout the city both geographically and interest-wise. The purpose of that was that our map would then be able to help inform more students from different backgrounds. One critique we seemed to get that it didn’t seem to necessarily have a very focused theme, but that was exactly it. We wanted to provide at least one or two things for each student, no matter what their interests were. So someone could go to

Portfolio Introduction: Kelsie Cage

As I entered my first year at the University of Denver, I was not sure what to expect for the writing courses that I had to take. Throughout high school I was always taught how to analyze works of literature, but rarely conducted hands on research papers. I quickly realized that the two are very different forms of writing. Although, I was always a strong writer, I struggled with maintaing formal writing diction and understanding how to properly conduct a research-based paper. I tend to write with detail and and like to include wordy diction. Throughout this course I have learned that research papers are based on exact material and do not need a lot of detail for the reader to understand the paper. Research papers are full of facts, examples and more or less a non-biased view. The writing does not need excess, polished words; I learned throughout the writing course how to cut out unnecessary information that was not needed. Specifically in the text based paper our writ class was instructed to write about. The assignment as giving to us from our instructor to write about an 'Interpretive' research paper in which you will derive an argument from previously-published sources. As individuals we had to find a topic and conduct a research based paper, while analyzing another authors work and incorporating it into our writing. I wanted to uncover the reason why DU no longer has a football. This arose when I was on my tour of the campus last spring and my leader stated that one of the buildings had been blown up during a football rivalry. I had heard many rumors about the abolishment of the team and wanted to find out the true meaning. When I was conducting my research I felt the need to include the football teams history and the history of the school to give my reader background information. Unfortunately, I felt this could have hindered my writing piece. Instead of it turing out to be a constructive research paper it became more like a media report. One thing that has really stuck with my in this course is the importance of revising a piece. I spent more hours revising this paper than I did on its first draft. I wanted to give my reader reason to read and become interested in my paper. I acknowledged what I did wrong throughout my piece, and attempted to edit it so that it flowed.

I struggled getting to the main point of my paper. I “beat around the bush” and put a lot of “fluff” in my paper, without meaning too. I took a lot of time revising and reconstructing my paper; I wanted to take the time to understand why I was writing the way I did and learn how I could change my style to the appropriate form. I have reflected on my strengths and I have learned to take the time to acknowledge and focus on my weaknesses throughout this course.

Furthermore, I could not override my own opinion while I was writing (this happened with my qualitative paper as well). By the end of the course I have a better understanding on how to write with a biases tone, however I still struggle with it; I have come to be aware of my perspective while writing.

The second piece our class was required to write about was: a qualitative research project in which you gather research via a qualitative method such as ethnography or interview. This piece was my favorite work. I talked about the undercover drug scene on the University of Denver's campus. I used pieces from other authors, such as a research paper that was conducted by a professor at Yale University. Although I was passionate about the topic, because I felt that this research could actually be useful to our university's administrators, like it was used for Yale; my speed bump came with the questions I asked students in an anonymous survey. Our university provides its students with an IRB introduction and research limitation. It is meant to protect the rights and safety of individuals participation in research projects that involve human subjects. The guidelines stated that drug profound questions were not allowed. It did not clearly state exactly what the qualifications of those questions were, so I assumed that there was some grey area and I could wriggle my questions to students, while obtaining the anonymous information I needed while not disobeying the IRB rules and restrictions. I found out that most of my questions slid past the “frowning upon” questions, so I was able to gain most of the information I needed. Yet, I felt cheated that I could not directly ask the members of my survey detailed information that could have positively affected my research. I had to take some of my questions out, which left me a few questions short on my survey. I understand the implications the university is under, however it took a toll on my paper. With that in mind, I did the best I could with the paper. My first draft had information that could not be publicized so my revision lead me down another path with my paper. I had to come up with other ways I could express my topic without stepping on anyones toes. This was my main challenge with this paper. I had learned from my first paper in this course how to effectively write a research paper (still learning, but better than I started off) but did not have to include interviews or a survey. This paper challenged me by understanding how to effectively incorporate my findings. My revision included reforming my topic and taking out my main points in order to follow the IRB format. Although this was a challenge for me, I tried to get my point across the best I could without using certain information. I felt that this piece was a challenge in which I learned a lot about my writing and the different styles used. I had never written a piece that was broken up in sections of method, discussion, conclusion, etc. I did like writing in the different sections, however at one point I felt that I was repeating myself a lot; which resulted me in giving up talking about some main points. In the revision I made and effort to go back and try to provide more information without the feeling that the paper was just creating repetition.

The third and final paper of this course was a group project that was: a Google Maps project that displays your rhetorical map of Denver. Our group conducted research on what DU students do around campus at night. We had two greek-life students discuss what there is to do around campus and two non-greek life students. The two sections over lapped which provided information for those students who are interested in exploring DU's night life and they can gain different perspectives through the eyes of different views.

William Summitt

INTRODUCTION ESSAY
I have always struggled as a writer. My senior year of high school I had an amazing AP English teacher and I thought I learned a lot, and improved dramatically. However, upon entering college I realized still how sub par my writing skills were. Over the course of the year I have completed WRIT 1122, where I learned how to properly form an argument and appeal to certain audiences among other things. I am now nearing the final days of the quarter and thus the final days of my WRIT 1133 course. While nearing the end we are instructed to review literature we produced and reflect upon this. To accomplish this I am analyzing the first two papers from this course amongst a piece of writing from another course that will compliment my stance on my academic advancement in the form of writing.
WRIT 1133 is one of two introductory writing courses and specifically focuses on more researched based papers. The first two papers we constructed for this course were in fact researched based, however they differ in where the research is derived from.
The first paper was an interpretive essay in which we derived an argument from previously published sources. In other words we found scholarly documents in the form of books, published online articles, and so on and so forth. My topic for this paper was marijuana. With this paper I wanted to find out the facts on why it is illegal and the arguments on why it should be legalized and from this form a conclusion of my standpoint on the matter. While researching this I was able to find a lot of books of which the majority demonstrated the positive aspects of marijuana, whereas most of my online sources were medical based and argued the negative effects of the drug. Through my research I found a lot of controversial medical opinions. This was one set back to my paper, the topic. It was hard to find solid facts, because this is a topic with rising popularity but relatively little research. The other difficulty with this request was time. To conduct full research on a topic, write a paper and then revise that paper numerous times takes a lot of time and effort. We were given roughly two weeks and we are students with other activities and assignments on our plates.

The second assignment for the quarter was another research project, only this time we conducted our own research. We were supposed to focus on something related to Denver, conduct our own research, and then format our paper similar to a lab write-up. By this I mean an Inro, Method, Response and Conclusion. My project was on the DU food service. I chose this topic because it was realistic. We had another two weeks to conduct research for this paper and then devise the paper itself. To be realistic with time I had to begin collecting data immediately and also focus on a narrow, local audience. By doing this I was able to make my data more accurate. Collecting data was an important thing to consider from the start of this paper. I needed a way to collect data quickly and effectively. My approach was sending surveys to peers of mine through Facebook. I chose to use Facebook because it is such a popular form of media for college students. The other form of collection that I used was simple observation. From this information I concluded that students at the University of Denver were unsatisfied with their provided food service and formed a possible solution to the issue.
I have always hated revising, and for the first paper I was lazy enough to only revise about twice, which is not even the bare minimum for writing of my caliber. Through this course I found through lots of critique from both peers and professors that revision is the only way to meet near perfection and achieve an acceptable grade by my standards. This means formatting a paper prior to writing, make a rough draft, and then revise it twice myself. After this it I found it helpful to get an outside opinion, so I turned to a friend and asked that they revise my writing. At this point I would then revise again and if I had time refer to the writing center. I think by learning this approach this quarter my writing has again improved dramatically. I know that I am not a skilled enough writer to appreciate a first draft as a final one. It was a painful piece of information, but in the long run a helpful one that I can attribute to this writing program, and a strict grading system holding me to a higher standard.

Bland Introductory Portfolio essay

My name is Ali Bland. I am a freshman at the University of Denver. Over the course of this year I have enhanced and developed my research skills. Through three pieces all relating to the theme of collecting and reflecting on research, I learned to maintain a clear focus throughout my writing as well as further understand how to advance personal conclusions made from research, beyond that found from scholarly sources.
The first essay, entitled, “Text-Based Paper,” I was required to write a research paper with a thesis about a topic of interest pertaining to Colorado. I was to create a textual research tool to support my argument including that of outside sources. I wrote about the injustice of incarcerating the mentally ill. I developed arguments based off of the negative and positive effects of this part of the justice system, and further supported my thesis by addressing the need for change in the way the United States government treats and thinks of the mentally ill. This paper exemplified my inexperience in citing research. My development of arguments was clear and well supported, but without the citations, my writing lacked credibility. This paper exercised the ability to gather well-rounded sources and use sources to further my personal points.
The second essay, entitled, “Qualitative Project,” I was required to use the skills developed in the Text-Based assignment and further the research towards a piece that was broken into four sections: Introduction, Methods, Results, and Discussion. In this project I conducted several interviews and used the support of three scholarly sources to show the links and the causes to why people believe or do not believe in religion and, or God. I did this by interviewing a skeptic, a devout Catholic, a non-traditional episcopal, and agnostic, and an atheist. I created my own interview process and later analyzed the parent’s experience with religion and how religion has played into family life. I then reflected on the current believes of individuals, when relating to their families experience with religion. The overall purpose of the experiment was to determine how people form religious affiliations and whether people believe in religion and, or God for personal fulfillment or because of the traditions and expectations of family members. The most improvement on this essay was in regard to the requirements of the process note. Using this introduction to state the purpose and process of this paper was more difficult for me then writing and analyzing the actual research collected. I found that personal bias regarding my thesis influenced how I interpreted the results of my interviews. This was an issue to work on in regard to credibility and reliability of my conclusions.
The third essay, entitled, “Proofs Paper,” was an analysis of how Wikipedia and Britannica use logos and ethos in their research. By comparing two articles from each source about Coco Chanel I was able to develop an argument to the usefulness of using these two sources. I needed to develop less of report about the two sources and use transitions to make the argument more fluid.

Review for qualatative - Martin Corral

There are many corrections that my qualitative paper could go through. Right off the bat, I have a problem with my hypothesis and research question. The beginning paragraph becomes too “bland”, the paper does not actively engage the reader, but rather sounds just like another assignment. In order to fix this I must rephrase the question and eliminate the colon. The question needs to read more casually, less clunky, and be able to sound more like something that would want to be read.
After this, I have an issue with organization. I begin rephrasing the purpose of this paper and how anonymity was kept at the end of the first paragraph. This section should most likely be moved to within the methods or immediately before, this will help the paragraphs flow better and sound less choppy. Throughout the paper I have a mess of citations, however, do not properly cite them. I need to return and go through the paper to connect citations to the information they should be linked to. Toward the end of my paper I need to critically analyze my results and come up with a discussion that finds a profound meaning from the research conducted.

Zachary Baca text based revision

While reading over my paper I realize that I am just talking through what I thought education had as shortfalls. I was not relying on my research to keep myself on track. In order to keep the idea of a research paper alive I need to reference my sources more. I don’t have any reason why I can talk about these things without anything to back myself up with academic sources. Also, my argument becomes skewed towards the end of my paper. This comes from not really knowing what I am trying to prove what I am trying to say. With more research I will be able to finally list off the problems with education that need to be fixed first. My conclusion comes with a new idea, if this idea was expanded on during the paper then that would make my argument stronger. The paper is very weak, a lot of work to do but I have the bones, I have the hard stuff I just need to mold the clay around it to get my piece of art that the final piece will be.

Scott Haraway-Revision Excercises for Final Draft

In analyzing my paper through the thesis and main claim scope, I thought I actually did the majority of things very well, but there is still room for improvement in a few areas. First, the first two paragraphs of my ethnography, INTORDUCTION, detail what is to come in the paper very well and allude to the conclusion that coffee shops are not about the cup of coffee at all. Job well done. However, I could have gone into a little better detail about how this ambiguous checklist will look like and maybe give a scope on how big the scope of the study will be. As for the second bullet, I could use more work in that area. In my LITERATURE REVIEW, I discuss three sources that relate to different facets of a study like this that should be considered. But, I fell like the quotations might come of as taken a bit out of context because I do not say how the different sources were intending to use the quotations in their own products. Lastly, my conclusion is pretty well done in returning to the originally-stated thesis because that is actually where I do most of the conclusion development of the main points drawn from the study. It does tend to seem a little long and overly wordy after rereading it, so I think I could go back and condense it to a much more concise version that still conveys the same conclusions. One other part to definitely add to give an opportunity to expand on the thesis is to include a piece on possible area of expansions in this research.

In class_Revision_Kelsie Cage

In my first paragraph I go back and forth stating different claims and making general observations, I need to directly state one claim and my opinion on the matter. I talk about a number of different assumptions but do not directly form a solid forming argument and address it. I should reorganize my thoughts and cut out all the wordy details. The diction I use is on the informal side and does not portray the correct wording for an argumentative paper. I need to make sure that I focus on my argument and provide clear examples. I tend to get wordy and fill in the body paragraphs with information that does not obtain to my main idea and argument. I provide good examples of both sides of my argument, but could go into more detail. I need to revise my work cited and do the correct labeling in my paper. For my conclusion I need to restate my claim and provide once more what my main argument is while summing up why I think the way I do.

Parker Roe_in class revision

For my first paper this term, the text-based paper, I chose to write about the Pike’s Peak Gold Rush and how it generated wealth which eventually transformed Denver in to what it is today. My thesis is clear and to the point and illuminates the direction of the piece but I need to focus more on opposing sides. Currently there is no “issue” in my paper. Oil is arguably another possible reason for Denver’s expansion, but I need to add some sources and analysis incorporating oil and other monetary factors that could combat gold as the primary source of expansion and blossoming which happened in Denver at the turn of the last century.
Also, as far as my use of sources is concerned, I believe that I have come across and used some really beneficial academic sources; however, using more will most definitely bolster my ethos and I think I am going to need at least two or three more. I also need to introduce my sources throughout the piece. Since I have not done this effectively my sources are not nearly as credible when read by someone else as they are by me. I have definitely overlooked this aspect and will make the adjustment.
Since I am writing my paper on an event that took place over one hundred years ago, I have found it difficult to contrast my argument with opposition; however, I consider this a challenge and I am confident that I will be able to accomplish my goal of developing a more two sided issue and arguing my respective side. My thesis has a lot of potential, but it just simply isn’t where it needs to be quite yet.

Frey_In Class Revision

For my revision process I will be focusing on our first paper, the text-based research project. My thesis which was related to the debate on legalizing marijuana in Colorado I felt was strong however I had a hard time making the argument without allowing my personal ideas and feelings get in the way. I also struggled to find scholarly articles to cite within my paper. These two issues made it difficult for me to argue the point I was trying to make. Another part to the revision process for me is the in text citations and learning how to introduce my quotations and sources to allow the reader to understand why I’m using them and how they work to strengthen my argument. My papers organization was decent however I will revisit it again when I look at how I view and analyze the other side of my argument. In both my arguments case and the counter-arguments case my paper could be strengthened. My final thought on the revision of this paper is the attention to detail. Not labeling the file correctly, missing the peer revision, and not editing completely all contributed to a grade much lower then I expect of myself.

Liza Veysikh in-class revision

The second essay (The Qualitative Paper) I need to work on the most. I provide a lot of good, relevant information on the interviews that I conducted, but it appears to be that the analysis section was very similar to my results section because I haven’t described how the water conservation programs and projects really have helped or haven’t helped water conservation in Colorado. I also probably need to analyze how, what I have found in the interviews, led to an overall conclusion on water conservation in Colorado. This was the main critique of my paper: that it is important to see larger trends behind my interviews. To be able to make my analysis more effective, I think the goal of my paper needs to change somewhat. That is, in my thesis I need to include a broader perspective on my topic and a section concerning water conservation initiatives. I have to draw more connections to the results section and provide a better conclusion section that will provide further implications.

Bland_In Class Revisions

In my qualitative assignment, I need to work on my analysis. My thesis was clearly discussing how people develop religious affiliations, but I tended to use information or results that contradicted itself. This is because my interviews did not yield paralleled information to my thesis. I need to reflect on this by showing the differences in opinions and how that brings a bigger conclusion to my research. I also need to start my paper with more of a hook. I jumped right into the discussion without letting the reader get invested in the topic. Which reflects my problem with transitions. I need to work on the fluidity of paragraphs and sentences to conclude an idea and move on with relevancy.
Another thing to work on in my analysis was the citing of sources. Although I used scholarly sources and used strong examples to support my own research, I did not cite the sources properly in text or on my citation page. I also did not explain the ethos of the author’s pieces that I chose. In my review of literature I need to explain how the piece is useful and why the author’s information can be used in a credible piece of writing. This will bring more reliability to my own conclusions as well as bring more background to the reader about the topic.

Group Draft- Armbrust, Veysikh

Introduction

Denver is a sprawling city that is known for being an oasis of vibrant culture that contains a loud, public art scene. The borders between the mundane habits of everyday life and the pulsating energy of Denver’s many art galleries, public sculptures, and performance artists blur and seep into each other, distorting the border between personal life and the public forum of art and culture. Our project hopes to unify the many mediums of this public art, such as sculpture, interactive music, and live performances, and glean an understanding of what inspires the creators of this art to draw the everyday crowd into their piece. Our map will not only capture the audience and placement of these works, but also the motivation behind them.

Schedule
May 13th- split up, half go to Downtown: including 16th street, Convention Center, and the Denver Public Library.
May 16th- bring in pictures and other things pertaining to our topic.
May 18th- work on final drafting
Week of 13th 20th- the other group members go to DAM and LoDo Downtown
May 20th- finalize the paper and the pictures

Group Draft-Frey, Haraway, Summitt, Baca

For most, a University campus is a place to come for sports, cultural activities, and socializing. For many students the University of Denver serves as just that type of place beginning their freshman year. However as time passes and the students get older many of them tend to venture off campus in an attempt to explore the city of Denver and it’s surrounding area. In a city full of history and rich in culture there are many places a student can go to release some of the stress built up from constant work and studying. Skiing, five professional sports venues, nightclubs, great restaurants and concerts are all places one can find a DU student on the weekend (or during the week) enjoying Denver.

Schedule:

May 12th-16th: Attend concert by Cunninlynguists, attend Rockies game, and visit Beta nightclub to collect data and materials for class on Monday. Skiing data and materials will also be collected during this time period but through personal contact. Eat out at Denver specific restaurants (Cherry Cricket).

May 16th-18th: Edit collected materials and prepare to workshop both materials and building Map. Meet in group if needed to edit and discuss materials.

May 18th-22nd: Finish editing both text and map for submission deadline of May 22nd. Individuals edit own writing for both process note and actual map detail.

Baca in class 5/09

Lupe Fiasco:
I first of all am a huge fan of Lupe Fiasco. His lyrics are the most in depth from a lot of the other rappers out there not to bash on some of the other influential writers in history, such as Jay-Z or Eminem but Lupe brings much more to the table. In terms of learning from his style of writing it is amazing that he can just sit down and write basically what his song will be about, without any criticisms or changes done by lawyers on the matter of his song. He takes great pride in his work and allows for time to make the song complete, even writing the lyrics before he has the music to go along with it. This is what makes his an artist and not just an unconscious rapper like most other people who can just sit down at the microphone and make a great rhyme scheme from scratch. Fiasco makes art with his music not just something that rhymes. That is why I like his music and why I appreciate his art.

Tim Burton:
Tim Burton creates his own world with his imagination. He makes what he sees in his mind into reality with the re-creation of the movie Alice in Wonderland. From his sketches there is so much detail and thought behind the drawings that they already look like people. With descriptive notes that he could show on the paper he makes the characters more realistic allowing for minor character shifts in clothing or style but keeping the core of what he wants. That is important, to keep the core and change the supporting cast. Finding a core is the hardest part that Burton does so well.

Chuck Close:
Close makes his art from living people but doesn’t just look at one viewpoint. He turns the art in different angles so he can see what it looks like from here or that different view. In order to make something great everyone has to like it. By moving his art in different ways he can appeal to the people who see the world in different ways. Close realizes that he is a nervous wreck as well as sees his work as something he loves. I can see that in my own writing because when I am writing I am calmed down, my breathing is slower and my mind is focusing on the task at hand. This is especially true for the times I like to write creatively.

Jose 5/9

I found that my draft process is very similar to a lot of
the artist we talked about in the article. I mainly related to the MC Lupe
Fiasco, T.C Boyle, and Tim Burton. All three of these artists seem to like
doing their work by hand, or at least the editing part not on the computer which
is very similar to my personal style. Like T.C I like to scribble on the work
that I have already done. This helps me expand on things that might be a little
vague. Although T.C Boyle types all of his work he later goes over it with a
pen and makes notes on the things he can expand on or the things he would like
to change. I would like to try to type all of my work so it would be a little
easier to understand once I am going over it with the pen.

I found it really interesting that Tim Burton drew sketches
of the things he is trying to portray. He mentions something about sketching
things far in advanced so his brain has time to play with it. I sometimes find
myself doing similar things with my writing or poetry. If I come up with a line
or a sentence that I could potentially use for a piece I write it down on my
notebook. I hold that sentence or line and try to expand on it and maybe even
get ideas from other sentences or lines I might have wrote down. I also taught
it was cool how he makes thinking and just sitting around part of his process.
I would like to do this more often because I feel like some really deep taughts
and connections to what you are writing about can come from this. This also
allows you to understand or be really familiar with your topic.

Lupe Fiascos style is very similar to mine. He like I write
his work or ideas on paper and edits where ever he pleases. Like him I am
unable to write unless I have a concept or how he describes it music. I like to
connect with my topic and go in depth with it to understand it well.

Liza Veysikh In-class revision

Jennifer Yuh Nelson describes how their team initiated ideas for their new character Lord Shen in their 3D film. I thought it was very interesting how she said that they look at every detail that would make the character real. Similarly, for our project, we should compile details of our journey to Downtown and try to incorporate every place we saw pertaining to our topic into our project. That would make the city of Denver appear more “real.” Also, her revision describes starting out from a 2D sketch of the character and adding more dimensions to its figure. I think it would also be helpful to use that. First, we should interview people and compile information on our topic. And then we will add layers to the google map by describing the places in detail and adding videos and photos to our project. So I learned that it’s very important to start with the general idea (character in this case) and add on details in the process.

Frank Gehry discusses how he plans out his architectural style. First, he provides a model that is very sketchy and I didn’t understand at first what he was trying to convey. As he said however, looking into the drawings, I could identify objects and forms that are very similar to the actual building. Therefore, I learned that it is useful to start with a sketch of the project, but have important information in it that would lay out the basics, and work from there adding more and more details. I think that this is also a useful idea for our project because we need to lay out the essential basics (like where the wall and the door is) and then work from there.

Ben Katchor, a cartoonist, depicts different faces that are important in his. I like how he uses essential forms (nose, eyes) and then later adds expressions on their faces and many other shades. I learned that the basic forms are important for laying out the basics and then the details will be in process. I think we should use these ideas in our project.

Revision Process Bland

Laura & Kate Mulleavy
Laura and Kate Mulleavy are two fashion designers that gained inspiration from talking and finding both historical and contemporary references like: movies or books. They are quoted, “Images help us create a feeling.” This is essential because before you can start the process of writing, the author must have a focus and a theme which can be gained from visualizing or gaining energy from other sources than one’s own imagination. I like this idea, because by taking into account other references it gives perspective and relativity to writing. I find that in my own writing having some background sources to spark new idea is very helpful.

Lupe Fiasco
This artist is very creative in his process of writing. I like the idea of writing in motion with the music in the background. It seems like a natural way to get your mind to transfer and explore free-flowing thoughts. Lupe Fiasco understood that environment and positioning of the body can affect an individuals thought process, this is helpful to me because if you can find those environments that trigger positive energy for writing. I also liked that he discussed the idea that everyone takes different amounts of time to finish projects. In my own projects I should worry less about how much time spent doing work and more about the process itself.

Paul Simon
Paul Simon has a practical approach to looking at songwriting. Describing himself as a poet and determining that writing is a private matter that is not always discussed, he did discuss his own personal preference to write with white paper and silence. I also liked that he talked about writing in bursts of energy, which for me I can only write if I am inspired and passionate about the topic. I can use this to always remember to be connected and establish meaning in writing, even if I do not need to use a well-phrased sentence to get my point across.