Anton_in class revision

For the Qualitative paper I need to focus on making connections with my findings rather than just reciting what I have found. This was the main critique and a part of my paper that will take the most time revising. I also need to focus on my first few paragraphs and the stating my claim “clearly and concisely”. This paragraph is lacking in strength and purpose. To express the point of the paper I need to examine and clarify the purpose to myself as well, the easiest way to do this would be to read the paper to an outside participant that can ask questions to make clarifying points. Again the point that needs the most work is the qualitative section that compares my results to the bigger purpose and discusses the relationship between previous works on my topic, environmental racism, and connections I can draw to the results I found. Another point to revisit is making the source a credible one by introducing the author- also site how the example refers to the point I am making and how that is developing into a qualitative argument.