Scott Haraway-Revision Excercises for Final Draft

In analyzing my paper through the thesis and main claim scope, I thought I actually did the majority of things very well, but there is still room for improvement in a few areas. First, the first two paragraphs of my ethnography, INTORDUCTION, detail what is to come in the paper very well and allude to the conclusion that coffee shops are not about the cup of coffee at all. Job well done. However, I could have gone into a little better detail about how this ambiguous checklist will look like and maybe give a scope on how big the scope of the study will be. As for the second bullet, I could use more work in that area. In my LITERATURE REVIEW, I discuss three sources that relate to different facets of a study like this that should be considered. But, I fell like the quotations might come of as taken a bit out of context because I do not say how the different sources were intending to use the quotations in their own products. Lastly, my conclusion is pretty well done in returning to the originally-stated thesis because that is actually where I do most of the conclusion development of the main points drawn from the study. It does tend to seem a little long and overly wordy after rereading it, so I think I could go back and condense it to a much more concise version that still conveys the same conclusions. One other part to definitely add to give an opportunity to expand on the thesis is to include a piece on possible area of expansions in this research.