Murray_in class revision

After reading tips on how to revise my papers, I think that there are many revisions necessary for both my text-based and qualitative research papers. I feel like both papers lack much of a thesis. The argument, or the point of my papers can be made more specific and clear to the audience. I think that this is very important, because if the audience cannot recognize what the paper is discussing the paper is pointless. Research and support need to be more evident in both papers too. Although I used many good sources, neither of the papers represents much research. I also need to re-cite my sources correctly. In my qualitative research paper, I need to write a better conclusion. The original conclusion is weak and doesn’t effectively conclude my topic of DU Greek life at all. The introduction and conclusion can be made more concise in both papers, too. I tend to ramble on and fill my writings with “empty words.” In my revision process, I plan on cutting out these random phrases or thoughts and either replacing them with new ideas that pertain more to the topic, or I plan on cutting out these ideas completely. I think that the most important thing for me to change in both of my writings is to make the topics more clear and obvious for the audience.