Revision In Class - Walkovitz

There are many revisions that could be done to my second paper. For the qualitative paper, I feel like I do a good job in making my topic clear but I feel as though I could do a better job in the beginning of my paper when talking about the other sources. I don’t feel as though I do a good job explaining how the sources make their arguments, I just list the sources and what they say. I also feel like I could do a better job in tying the sources together instead of relating to each one separately in different paragraphs. I also feel like in my conclusion, I could more tie it back to the main instead of rewording what was just said. I could also tie in why my argument is important and analyze that main point more thoroughly.