Process Note
The topic of my paper is on the DU provided food services. I will explore in depth on the students opinion of the provided food quality, which on campus dining hall is their favorite, and if they would prefer making their own food sophomore year instead of being forced into paying for another meal plan. I want the students opinions on the food and if they like it I want to know how they think it could be improved and if it does not meet their standards what alternatives may provide them with appropriate meals.
To gain my data, knowledge, and information I will send a link to an online questionnaire through Facebook to all of my DU friends. Along with this I will also interview a number of professors that I happen to know eat the food provided at said Dining halls.
In conclusion I will compare and analyze the data I receive and find out how DU could improve their food or policy on meal plans for living on campus
1. The introduction is largely coherent and clear. It states your intentions for your project and elaborates on the nuances of your research. However, the word choice in the first paragraph, specifically, ‘forced’, might indicate to the reader that you are biased and clearly attempting to sway the data. Perhaps you could try making your word choice more neutral. I would also suggest elaborating on the last paragraph—how are you going to analyze the data? What would be the practical application of such knowledge?
ReplyDelete2. The draft is still incomplete and sketchy, which is to be expected this early on. There are still a few missing holes that will make the draft much more coherent and complete when you fill them. However, there were some strong points—namely your introduction, in which you clearly lay out your goals for the paper, and your methods section that was concise and painted a picture of the overarching project. I would strongly suggest tying in the practical value of this information into the introduction, perhaps as a final paragraph.