Process draft: KELSIE CAGE
Drug:a chemical substance used in the treatment, cure, prevention, or diagnosis of disease or used too the otherwise enhance physical or mental well-being.
University: an institution of learning of the the highest level, having a college of liberal arts and a program of graduate studies together with several professional schools, as of theology, law medicine, and engineering, and authorized to confer both undergraduate and graduate degrees. Continental European universities usually have only graduate or professional schools. (dictionary.com).
What do these two words have in common? The definition of a drug, according to dictionary.com, does not state it being for recreational use, so how did it become that way? If universities are “institution(s) of learning of the highest level” then why are drugs so commonly found on the campuses? The analysis of these too correlations will result in surveys and statistics found throughout pristine universities, including University of Denver.
My research paper is going to be constructed on the use of drugs in private schools vs. public schools. What drugs are most common on both campuses and if more expensive drugs are found commonly on private campuses than public ones. I will conduct my research through finding out the tuition of the schools and see if it correlates to the expense of the drugs used on that campus. Example: In state, public schools pay half of what out of state private school students pay, how does the drug use correlate?
In addition, I will conduct a survey of student's at DU who know of students that take part in using recreational drugs and how much they spend on the classified substance. This will not include alcohol.
Peer Critique: Process Note
ReplyDeleteFor: Kelsie Cage
1. I like the idea of using the two definitions at the beginning; however, I do believe that the definition for “University” is a bit too long. May want to trim it down somehow. Having said that, the definition intro works well with how you tie them both into your question, “If universities are “institution(s) of learning of the highest level” then why are drugs so commonly found on the campuses?” It gives the reader a good idea of the direction you are heading in.
One thing that doesn’t really work too well in the same paragraph is your choice of the word, “pristine.” If the University of Denver is truly a “pristine” environment, then wouldn’t that yield a drug-free campus/social life? I think it has that sort of implication, and since you’re trying to find out more about illicit drug use on campus, I do not think that’s the best word.
The method you are using, a survey tackling recreational drug use and respective expenses, is very compelling and exciting for a reader. It’s not boring at all, so you’ll have an easy time engaging your audience; however, having said that, the topic of drugs can get mundane, so make it unique. In addition, you describe your method at the very end, after you talk about the things you want to find out; however, I believe that your survey should be described a bit earlier in your process note because while I was reading it I kept asking myself about how you were going to answer al your questions. Might be helpful to address this earlier.
2. The process note lines up very well with your draft thus far. Your direction highlighted in your process is evident and parallel with that of your draft. On the other hand, you present the reader with a lot of different questions in the introduction—which is good—but be careful not to ask too many without clearly defining how and why you’re going to answer them. Why are you so interested in this issue? And what is your hypothesis about the correlation between expense of drugs and expense of tuition? I’d like to see more of a stance taken.