Dear Reader,
I intend for this essay to explore the topic of school spirit at University of Denver. I want to answer the question of what school spirit means to the community, and I want to answer it in many ways; to explore what people think “school spirit” means, what it is like at DU, and then analyze why it is so important to the DU community. I would like it to show the readers that there is a lack of school spirit at University of Denver, and while everyone feels it and does not like it, nobody ever does anything about it. This paper will be intended for students at DU to read.
From the moment this paper was assigned, I knew I wanted to write about school spirit at DU. It is a topic that was important to me when I was choosing a college, and it has been an issue on my mind every since I started school here in the fall. I began the writing process by writing out a bunch of questions, starting with the most simply question of, “do you think University of Denver has school spirit?” and let the questions flow out from there, unfiltered, and writing them down as they came to mind. Through this, I feel like I was able to go deeper into the subject with my questions. I came to difficult point, though, as I could not figure out a definite research question. I looked through my questions and sought some help, and defined a clear cut question.
(will write about comments from peers after peer editing in class)
-Sara Ach
This appears to be a good start. At the end you talk about your research question however you don't actually state what that is. This would be helpful to someone reading your process note. It could be mentioned in the beginning where you are talking about your questions. Although you talk about many questions that you want to know the answers to, you never actually state the question you will be investigating whole heartedly. There are also a few grammatical errors that could simply be fixed by reading back through and editing. You could also add why School Spirit is so important to you, is there something in your past that sparked an interest, or is it just something that you always knew you wanted to be a part of.
ReplyDeleteIt is a rough draft, but upon perhaps simply one revision it could be presentable.